Ur doin it wrong – customer service

Because I can. Many companies are doing it wrong. Examples.

Customer Service

A few years back I got an AT&T GO phone. It really wasn’t a bad deal. I got a decent number of minutes, Internet access, text messaging, etc. for about 60 a month with no official contract. At the time I was in college and working at a 7-11 that sold them, I recommended them to everyone looking for a prepaid solution. We sold more phones than any store in the area. That is, until I bought one.

I took it home and did online activation, quick and painless. I made sure to hit the submit button for payment ONCE. It processed and a few minutes I checked my account balance.  I was charged the correct amount and the phone was functional. Fucking awesome! Seeing as it was 6 am and I worked from 2pm until 5am (double shift) I decided to get some sleep, as I had the next night off.

I awoke at 1pm and made some more calls. I really don’t use phones much, but I hadn’t talked to a lot of family in a long time. Someone mentioned going out that night, so I checked my bank balance again to see how much I could spend on trying to find a ditzy chick to fuck me. What’s this? I got charged TWICE! Fuck me, must have been some error. Some coked up programmer got some shitty code past source control or something. Now normally I would be ready to take a baseball bat to the old hag that lived across the street and was a racist, but I was in too good a mood to be angry just yet. I figured I’d just call them, explain how they fucked up, and get the monies credited back to my account. Yeah, that’s how high on life I was at the time.

I call and after being on hold for 10 minutes my blood begins to boil. My roommate offers to bring me some coffee. I tell her to fuck off, which is my way of saying, “I’m sorry, but this is important, thanks for the offer though.” Finally someone gets on the phone, an actual real life fucking human being. I explain the problem and they check it out. Surprisingly, they ADMIT to the error. “Well holy shit,” I say to myself, “They actually are owning up to the fuckup, cool.” What comes next made me want to shoot myself, and you, and your mom.

“Well, we can credit you for another month of service, and give you extra minutes for that month.” Well obviously this isn’t going to fucking fly. I ask for a refund of the errant payment, they tell me this isn’t possible. At this point, any sanity I had left the building for a bit. I was not nice.

“Lady, that’s a fucking lie, I have had errant charges before and was always able to get a refund, usually in about a half an hour. I know it’s possible. Now you admitted to fucking up am I correct?” Her response, “Well yes but…” “No buts lady, this isn’t a fucking Sir Mix a Lot video. Contact whoever you need to contact to get this shit straight.” The next thing she said is the biggest lie I’ve ever heard. EVER. “We would have to contact the billing people, they’re in another building and don’t have telephones.”

You read that right, read it again. Read it. How in the fucking hell could that load of bullshit possibly be true. I mean, seriously now.

I went through this with the next 7 people above her until finally I gave up.

“I work at a 7-11, we have a big promotion for your phone. I have a lot of friends in other stores. I am going to get them to remove any promotional materials that they have, and recommend NO ONE to buy your shitty phone. I am also reporting you to the better business bureau as we speak. In addition, I want to cancel this phone immediately, and God help you if you try to charge me for it.” (they had a cancellation plan if you dropped the service within the first 6 months.)

They canceled the phone, for free. After beating the living shit out of the couch cushion I had in my room for just that purpose, I ended up at the bar with just 10 bucks and ended up going home with a chick with a 26 inch waist and 42 EE knockers. I was happy again after that. I checked my bank account the next morning, I got a full refund. Why didn’t they just do that in the first place?  Stupid bastards. To top it off our REGION was dead last in the country in Go phone sales a month later. I wonder why?

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